There are many instances in which we negotiate but an important one is when we want to improve our situation in some way. We have a goal. For a goal to be meaningful and achievable it should be:
- something you want, and
- believe you deserve, and are
- willing to work for
1) Something you want: This could be a professional goal or a personal one. You are more likely to achieve your goal if you 1) aim high and 2) are specific. Aiming high is important because research has shown definitively that having higher aspirations results in better outcomes. Being specific is important since vague and general goals don’t tend to motivate and how will you know if you’ve achieved a vague goal anyway?
2) Believe you deserve: It’s really hard to ask for something if you don’t believe you deserve it. This is where there is a huge gender difference. Women have excessively high standards when it comes to thinking they deserve or are ready for something. For instance, in research done by HP, men applied for a position if they had 60% of the qualifications mentioned in the listing whereas women didn’t apply unless they had 100%! Remember, “nothing ventured, nothing gained” so the guys have a better approach in this case. Thinking we have to be perfect before we deserve to move on is a recipe for staying in one place.
3) Willing to work for: Since I’m focusing on negotiations here, the “work for” I’m referring to is stepping up to ask for what you want, even if it’s uncomfortable. The second part of the work is doing some preparation for your negotiation instead of simply going in cold. This helps your chances of success significantly. As to what it entails, I will cover preparation more fully another day.