Folks say that women should negotiate more. Women’s forums bemoan that women are not more confident. But which comes first, the negotiating or the confidence? Well, actually they feed on each other and I’d like to suggest that by learning to ask for and getting at least some of what you want and need to be successful, your confidence will increase. By pointing out that you are doing a good job, rather than expecting others to notice, and by asking to be acknowledged through raises, promotions, and greater responsibility, all of which is good for the organization, you will become more confident.
Yesterday’s article in the New York Times about how Christine Lagarde, France’s Finance Minister, as the favorite to replace Dominique Strauss-Kahn at the helm of the IMF ended with the following “She is a negotiator at heart,” said one official. “She knows how to identify the common denominator between different parties.” So, like Ms. Lagarde, remember that negotiating is the key to the top spot both for yourself and your organization.