Autumn is here and right on cue, the weather has turned cloudy with sprinkles here in Vernon. Luckily, the smoke cleared so we can breathe freely once again, literally if not figuratively.
We arrived back at John’s house just over a week ago and it’s been a tough time in the news cycle. First, I read the hair-raising New York Times/Pro Publica articles on climate migration, the first a prediction on migration throughout the world and the second including even more detailed modeling on people movement within the US, including in our lifetimes. If you haven’t read these articles, I recommend them. I believe it’s the first time that scientists have combined information on migration patterns with that on climate change and it’s pretty interesting to see which places are likely to become unbearable or unlivable and which ones might actually improve.
John has heard from a few of his friends wondering whether he can help them emigrate to Canada (sadly, no) so the article has clearly caused some people to question whether they should relocate sooner rather than later. I know my children are already tired of hearing about my anxiety around what is coming down the pike in the next few decades. Fraser has told me he thinks it’s possible to be “too informed,” code for “stop bugging me with your catastrophizing.”
After barely digesting that bit of emotional gristle from the NYT, RBG kicked the bucket 46 days before the election adding yet more partisan hysteria into a country currently rent by division. And while “hysteria” implies I don’t think it is justified, I am terrified of the US turning into a nation where a future granddaughter of mine might have to travel outside the country to maintain control of her womb. The Handmaid’s Tale comes to life! And then there’s the possible impact of a 6-3 court on the environment and even the election. Hellish thoughts!
So how can I survive all the bad news with my mental health intact? It’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot. And I know that I’m not alone. Following are my top 7 strategies:
Strategy 1: Connecting with others
John and I have spent more time together in the last 6 months than ever before and while this has its own stresses, it has allowed us to support one another as we absorb all the tough news. I also talk regularly with my dad and Gail and my children as well as several of my friends. But here in Vernon, I know almost nobody so I’ve decided to focus on my interactions with those I don’t know like thanking the fellow who made my latte this morning or smiling and saying hello to someone I pass on my walks. It’s the best I can do, is much better than nothing, and it does make me feel some tiny connection to the local community.
Also, my country is still part of my community so I continue to try and help it. John and I have been writing postcards to encourage voters in Philadelphia to register to vote by mail and I am working for the third year with Castlemont high school to register all the seniors to vote. I still believe that, as Churchill said, “democracy is the worst form of Government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time,” though it’s certainly being given a stress test right now in the US.
Strategy 2: Controlling my intake of news while staying somewhat current.
My next-door neighbor in Berkeley, Ruth Ann, has gone for decades not following the news. Apparently, she decided a long time ago that it was bad for her equanimity. While I’ve never gone that far as I do like to know the basics of what’s happening, I have also always shielded myself from the worst of it. In addition to being careful of my media intake, I also have to try and stop John from continually reminding me how bad things are, which he does frequently. I finally figured out that, unfortunately, he finds it emotionally helpful to share his anxieties about the world with me so his need and my need are in exact opposition. Once I realized this, our troubles around this topic were easier to understand, if not solve.
Strategy 3: Drinking
While drinking too much generally isn’t helpful, drinking the right amount regularly maybe is. One nice thing is that the Okanagan Valley is an up and coming wine region (the NYT just wrote an article about it), the Napa of the North, and we like to take advantage of this by drinking BC wines and going wine tasting. We’re planning a trip for the weekend of Oct. 2-4 down to Osoyoos in the Southern Okanagan where we will enjoy tasting and dining out for a couple of days. It’s a pretty place with lots of good wine and beautiful scenery so is something to look forward to. Photo below is of Moose eyeing my French 75 made with Empress purple gin and sparkling wine.
Strategy 4: Accepting that humans are just another species.
John’s background in biology means that he refers to this frequently and it is true that we are just one species among many, albeit a very destructive one. I found Elizabeth Kolbert’s book The Sixth Extinction fascinating and it made me realize that maybe having us go extinct wouldn’t be such a bad outcome. Humans are just animals with really big brains and an entitlement complex. Some are smart, educated, and humble enough to accept, and be embarrassed by, what we as a species have done and are doing. Unfortunately, this does not also mean that we are capable of governing ourselves in such a way that will allow us to change course, deal with our greed, not fight one another, or care much about other life forms or the planet.
Some of you maintain a more hopeful view of humanity than John or I do and so keep believing that we are better than this. If you are one who does, I hope for all our children’s sake that you are right. I think the reason accepting our animal natures is helpful to me is that it means I’ve lowered my expectation of humanity so significantly that I’m anticipating the worst and anything positive that happens will be a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately, this means I am heading toward the cynicism of my father, my first husband, and my second husband. I vow, however, to continue some activism and involvement despite this.
Strategy 5: Morning exercise.
I have learned over the years that my mood is vastly improved if I exercise relatively early. Whether it’s a yoga class, circuit training, or a walk or hike, whenever I move my body early, I am much happier for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, I sometimes don’t heed this and then my mood can sink as the day proceeds. Lucky for me, I’ve always liked exercising so if I can just get moving early enough, life is better.
Strategy 6: Reading
This is a big one for me as I love to read. I’ve finished 33 books so far this year (I track my reading on Goodreads) and, even more than usual it’s served as an escape. Some of the fiction books I’ve found most diverting so far are Circe by Madeline Miller, a feminist re-telling of the Greek myth. I also enjoyed her first book, The Song of Achilles, exploring the homosexual relationship between Achilles and his companion Patroclus, recommended by my daughter Kelsey. Lawrence Wright’s The End of October is a prescient story about what happens when a global pandemic is exacerbated by humanity’s weaknesses. It’s a page turner and to say Wright’s timing was good is a bit of an understatement as it was published in April of this year. I also thoroughly enjoyed An American Marriage by Tayari Jones and In West Mills by De’Shawn Charles Winslow, both beautifully wrought stories about African American lives and communities.
On the non-fiction front, my favorites this year have been Last Boat Out of Shanghai by Helen Zia, who attended my Alma Mater, The Splendid and the Vile, by Erik Larsen, about Churchill and his family during the blitz, and The Library Book by Susan Orlean, an incredible story about the 1986 fire in the LA public library that is also a love letter to the institution of the library itself. It’s been a great year in books so far and I still have three more months to look forward to!
Strategy 7: The little things.
Going on drives in beautiful places, spending time outdoors in nature, treating myself to a really good croissant, sitting on the deck and watching the sunset with a glass of wine are all things that help me appreciate how nice my life is. I feel gratitude for what I have when I do these things and this helps somewhat with the existential dread as I remind myself that my existence continues to be largely pleasurable even if scary things are happening in my country and to the world. But even with all the little things that are nice in my life, unlike Elon Musk, I am appreciative that I won’t live forever!
