Negotiating is important for everyone but men seem to already know this. Realizing that it’s crucial is what is key for women. Most men assume that they will need to ask for something if they want it. And they don’t find it that uncomfortable or mortifying to do so. In fact, some even enjoy it.
In contrast, women assume they will be rewarded if they work hard and perform. Unfortunately, assuming the world is fair and that people get what they have earned or what they deserve is often FALSE. Everyone, from employers to spouses and even children, frequently push for as much as they can get while giving little thought to what it’s worth or how they can reciprocate fairly. This fact, combined with women negotiating less for themselves than men, in turn, results in women getting less than men while, frequently, doing more.
Following are two studies that illustrate this difference. In the first, male and female Masters students at Carnegie Mellon were advised by career services to negotiate their starting salary. After they received job offers, they were surveyed and 57% of the men had done so while only 7% of the women had. Eight times as many men had negotiated even though both had been advised to do so. Those that negotiated their salaries increased their starting salary an average of 7.4%. Salaries of the graduating men in the class were 7.6% higher than those of the graduating women.
In a second study, college students played the game of Boggle. They were told they would receive between $3 and $10 and were asked to play 4 rounds of the game. When done, each was handed $3 but, if they asked for more, they were given $10. Men and women rated their playing equally and complained of low pay equally but 9x as many men asked for, and received, more pay (9 times !!!).
In both cases, women were not inclined to ask for more, even when counseled and prompted to. Why? In a future blog, I’ll talk some about how, in addition to not thinking it necessary, there are other reasons women resist.